Secret to happiness: Stop comparing yourself to others

Dr. Jessamy Hibberd, a psychologist, has carried out research and provided useful advice for us to stop comparing ourselves with others in order to live a happy life.

Be conscious of our thoughts

If you realize you are attempting to compare yourself to someone else, take a few minutes to calm down and stop it. We often compare ourselves to others in a very natural and unconscious way. It does mean that we're messing up negative thoughts in our head. Therefore, the first thing we need to do is to think in a "conscious way" so that when facing negative thoughts, we can still give ourselves the chance to intuitively block it.


Always remember that what we see is only ​​a part of the stories

Negative comparative thinking in our mind is because of the stories or images we see on social networks, newspapers, magazines, television ... or meetings, parties where people show off the most beautiful things about themselves. Because they are just the "nicest things", we'll be wrong to look at it to judge the whole story or a whole person. Do not let the glamor things somewhere affect our mood, do not be inferior when seeing people wearing a beautiful and expensive dress because it is just a dress at that moment.

Be always fair with ourselves

Before we compare ourselves to anybody, pay attention to both our strengths and their weaknesses instead of just comparing your "weaker” point to others’ stronger ones. And maybe you do not know, in a moment, the person you're feeling more inferior than will be inferior in front of you.

See our strengths


Comparing ourselves to others comes from our sense of inferiority, so strengthening our confidence is critical to getting rid of those negative thoughts from our head. We are always controlled by negative thoughts about ourselves, and we forget that any of us has our own strengths and we should be proud of them.

Ask yourself some questions: What do people usually praise you for? Have you made any special achievements of your own? And surely, we will find ourselves having so many good things worth cherishing than bringing our weak points to compare with others.

Be always grateful

Remember: Not everybody can make what we are having , so be grateful for our present happiness. We ourselves always crave for whatever we don’t have or have not done yet and forget what we have achieved already, or the best things the family has tried to give us.

Reduce time for social network

A scientific study shows we are absorbed in sharing on social networking or the stories of others will easily cause us to fall into a state of loneliness, depression and even the disappointment about ourselves. Therefore, limiting access to social networks - where people show off the best about themselves will certainly help us avoid some negative thinking. Maybe there is no need for us to delete Instagram or stop our Facebook account, but limit the time spent on it, because it's not the best way to keep us relaxed and happy.

Learn how to congratulate others but not  compare to ourselves


It is not easy to say congratulations to our friends and colleagues on their success without any comparison or inferiority. When we congratulate others, it is time to rethink our failures and shortcomings and begin asking questions like "Why cannot we be like other people?".

Instead of asking these kinds of questions, let's look at the success of others and take that as our motivation, remind ourselves that "they can do it, I will do it too if I try. "

By: Christina Baker

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